i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
