never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
