I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
