so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
