I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
