I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
