But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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