Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
