I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
