You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
