O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
