i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
