with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
