tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
