Ambien. No doubt about it.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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