I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
