I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
