I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
