How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
