mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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