Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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