There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
What a dumb baby whore.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
