you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's shark week go big or go home
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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