i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
That's intense
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
