The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
