you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
