i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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