you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
