On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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