she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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