So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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