16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
