Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
