I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
