So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He uses pillows to masturbate.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
