i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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