I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
