eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
