This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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