im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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