ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
