Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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