Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
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