yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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