Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
