I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
