ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
