wanna go halves on a baby?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
