i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
