how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
