One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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